


A New Feeling

by ugandadistrict9



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Morning Cuddles, idk where this is set, ignore my weirdness just accept the fluff, not really au but rimmer got his hard light from somewhere else
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 13:36:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6472036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ugandadistrict9/pseuds/ugandadistrict9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lister shares a lazy morning with Rimmer and his brand new physical body.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> idk tbh this is random
> 
> its really fluffy tho sooo enjoy...?

Lister felt warm as he stirred into consciousness. His entire body was warm. Something seemed to constrict the rise and fall of his chest -- not uncomfortably, though. The presence wasn't unwelcome, but what was it?

He shifted.

Half-awake, Lister was aware that a pair of arms were snaked around him.

In fact, there was an entire body. Someone's face was buried in his chest.

 _Krissie?_ he thought groggily. It must be. There was nobody else who would come into his bed at random and snuggle with him. His sleeping mind accepted this as the truth. 

He smiled, wrapping his arm around her.

Kochanski seemed a little taller and broader shouldered than usual, but he paid no mind. He hummed as he snuggled back in, ready to slip back out of consciousness, when he noticed something incredibly peculiar.

Kochanski had no breasts. In moving, he had brushed his arm against her chest and accidentally discovered that it was completely flat. Furrowing his brow, he groped her flat chest through her shirt.

His other hand felt blindly up the back of his unwelcome bed mate's head, and was met with short hair with slight curls. Kochanski didn't have boyish, curly hair.

Lister's eyes flew open, and he jerked his hand away.

He lifted his head, blinking in the darkness. Snuggled into his chest, under the blankets, was the figure of a rather tall man.

“Lights!” he called.

What he saw, he did not believe.

“Agh!” Lister yelped, filling up with disgust at the identity of his mystery cuddle-buddy. He bolted upright, prying the unexpected intruder's arms off of him.

The intruder squinted up at him groggily, clearly not appreciating the wake-up call. “What is it now...? Listy.....” he groaned, awkwardly trying to wriggle his wrists away from Lister’s grip.

“Rimmer, what're you doin' in me smeggin' bed!?”

Then he realized something. His eyes widened in disbelief.

Rimmer's arms... He was holding them. He could feel them. They were solid. They had mass, they had warmth. However, smack in the middle of Rimmer's forehead, lay, indeed, the letter H.

He dropped his wrists, sputtering. “But--but you're..... what..?”

Tentatively, Lister reached out his hand again and poked Rimmer in the cheek. “You're a hologram.... Why can I touch you?” He pressed his finger into Rimmer's face. It didn't go through like it should have. Holograms didn’t have a physical presence. They were 3D images, projected from a small metal device, known as a light-bee, that hung in the air near where their heart would be.

But Rimmer was solid. He wasn't a holographic projection -- he was really there! His face didn't feel quite as soft as skin should've, but Lister poked him several more times, and his finger still did not go through.

Rimmer blinked a few times, merely waking up, not quite aware of what was going on.

Understanding soon rushed to his face, and he cracked a large grin. “I can touch again ... Isn't it amazing!?”

“Yeah, but _how_?” Lister pressed. He had seemingly forgotten entirely about his crossness at Rimmer’s unrequested presence in his bunk; he seemed utterly intrigued.

“Kryten hooked me up with this amazing thing, it's called 'hard-light'. I don't entirely understand the science behind it, but who gives a smeg! -- I can touch!! I can taste, I can feel, I can _touch_!” he emphasized his enthusiasm by reaching out his hard-light hands and squeezing Lister's middle, which was exposed by his t-shirt riding up from rolling in his sleep.

Lister smacked his hands away from the ticklish area. “So it's just like havin' a physical body again?”

“Yep, but it's indestructible! It's technically only made of light, so I cannot be physically harmed.”

"Wooow...." Lister mulled it over, fascinated. “How does it work?”

“Not a clue. But it's amazing.”

Lister fell silent again.

“Do you need to breathe? Or-or eat?” the Scouse inquired finally.

“Nope,” Rimmer replied. “I can eat, though. No idea how that works. I think the hard-light inside of me must be so hot it just burns it up like molten lava or something. Don’t ask me how the temperature is so level on the outside. It’s too complicated. It’s best not to question it, really. I missed food.”

“Huh.” Lister cupped Rimmer's cheek, transfixed. He took considerable time feeling the fancy new body, that was supposedly composed entirely of light. He could scarcely believe it. It was extraordinarily human-like. It lacked the real fleshy warmth of a living human's body, but being made of light, it had some form of heat emanating from it. It was fascinating. Wide-eyed, Lister squeezed the hologram's face with his fingers and thumb, riveted. He had so many questions.

Then, suddenly, Lister stopped dead. Looking utterly disturbed, his lips curled into a frown. “Wait a minute, Rimmer, what the smeg were you doin' sleepin' in my bed with me!?” Lister shouted as he remembered his previous concern. He pulled his hand away from Rimmer's face.

Rimmer's eyes widened, and utter embarrassment filled his face. His shoulders dropped and his eyes flitted to and from Lister's gaze.

“Rimmer,” Lister warned.

“I'm sorry! I just-- My new body, and-- I-I needed to--” he stammered. “I don't know, I didn't think-- I--” Rimmer's gaze flickered to Lister again for a moment, who had an eyebrow cocked in question. His expression was not harsh, but Rimmer still felt guilty.

He sighed. “I... I wanted to feel human contact really, really badly,” he confessed quietly. “Nobody was awake, and I-- I should not have just climbed into your bed like that, I have nothing to say for myself, really. Except that I'm pathetic, and-”

“Rimmer, stop,” Lister interrupted. His tone was level and gentle. “Don't spill your guts to me, man. You know I don't wanna hear it.”

Rimmer met his gaze.

“If you just wanted a hug, man, that's alright. Don't apologize.” Lister held out his arms, a small smile creeping its way to his lips. “Here, do ya need a hug, Rimmer?” his voice was sincere.

Rimmer blinked.

“Well, come on, then.” Lister gestured for Rimmer to come closer with his outstretched hands. “I don't bite.”

Slowly, awkwardly, Rimmer complied, beginning to inch toward Lister on the bed. Lister pulled him into a tight hug.

It felt good.

Rimmer couldn't remember the last time he had been hugged. He had never gotten much physical affection even when he was alive, and not being able to touch for the past 6 years of his existence made this moment even more special. He closed his eyes. Wrapping his arms around Lister's shoulders, he squeezed him tightly.

Lister looked at Rimmer, a hint of melancholy in his smile. The hologram had been really obviously lonely. He had always been sorta lonesome, he thought. It saddened him. He didn’t know what had gotten into him, but he really didn’t mind Rimmer’s intimate company.

After another moment, they both relaxed their arms and drew apart.

“Off,” Lister said, and the room fell to darkness once again.

“Lister..?” Rimmer questioned, sounding nervous.

Lister put his arms back around Rimmer's light body again. “It's still early,” he said simply, “I ain’t smeggin’ gettin’ up at this time.”

He pulled Rimmer back to a laying position with him, closing his eyes peacefully.  
Rimmer found himself not minding at all. Admittedly, he sorta liked it. He was peaceful in Lister's arms, more so than he had ever been before. He felt a bit fuzzy inside. Was this how it felt to be given affection?

Rimmer looked at Lister. He didn't seem to mind having Rimmer in his bed as much as he'd seemed to a few moments ago. Once he had explained himself, it wasn’t really a problem at all. Lister seemed to care considerably for the hologram’s feelings. He thought he was being treated almost too delicately, but he honestly didn’t mind. Lister wasn’t doing it to be condescending; he was doing it because he was kind and caring.

Rimmer shifted, making himself more comfortable, and snaked his arms around Lister's figure.

He closed his eyes, and the pair lied there for an indeterminate amount of time. It felt a million times better with Lister willingly cuddling him back, instead of Rimmer just hugging his sleeping body. When thinking about it as ‘cuddling’ Rimmer felt a little awkward.

He opened his eyes, only to find Lister's eyes staring back.

Utterly silent, the two men stared at one another. It wasn't an uncomfortable stare, nor a necessarily romantic stare. They just stared deep into each other's eyes.

Lister’s eyes were calm.

Rimmer, noticed Lister, seemed a little more anxious. He could see it in his eyes. He didn’t know why, or what for. Being close this way with Lister didn’t make him uncomfortable, did it? Lister hoped not.

Lister wished he could change whatever had hurt Rimmer; Whatever hurt him now. His death, his short unfulfilled life, the vast endlessness of space -- whatever it was, still upsetting him, still causing him this anxiety, Lister wanted to punch it right in the face. He had never liked Rimmer, but he didn’t deserve to be troubled in the ways that he was. No one deserved to die young, especially after living as lousy of a life as Rimmer had. Even as a hologram, Rimmer’s pain was so engraved into his personality disk, that it showed in his projected eyes.

Lister didn’t even like Rimmer, but he knew that he deserved better. Much better. In this moment, Lister was sure that he deserved the whole world. He wanted to give him the world. He held onto him tight, rubbing his back gently with calloused hands. This seemed to calm him down. He melted a little into Lister’s arms, comforted greatly by the gentle rise and fall of his chest. For once, Rimmer almost seemed . . . relaxed.

Rimmer never seemed quite relaxed. Like this, secure in Lister’s arms, Rimmer looked pretty comfortable. He wasn't all tense like usual. He was the happiest Lister had ever seen him. It made Lister happy, too. He massaged his back, smiling as he did. Rimmer seemed to enjoy it. Lister felt almost relieved. He always wanted Rimmer to relax, not just because he was annoyed by his constant uptight-ness, but because he deserved a break. Everyone needed wind-down time, even crooked smegheads like Rimmer.

Lister didn't hate Rimmer.

He obviously didn't, or he wouldn't have invited him into bed with him, nor would he be fretting about him needing rest. If he truly hated Rimmer, like he used to think he did, he wouldn’t go out of his way like this to make him happy, would he? He was never sure exactly how he felt about Rimmer. He wondered how Rimmer felt about him.

Lister blinked at him, not speaking.

Rimmer's eyes flicked away, embarrassed by the eye contact.

Lister found that ... cute.

Really? He thought Rimmer was _cute_? Since when?

He didn’t know.

He didn’t care. Without thinking, he pulled Rimmer even closer to him, until their faces were barely centimetres apart.

Rimmer flushed, swallowing nervously. He was now forced to look Lister directly in the eye.

Lister wasn't sure why he did what he did just then, but he never, ever ended up regretting it. Rimmer's eyes went wide as Lister pulled himself in, closing the gap between them, pressing their lips together.

He closed his eyes as he did it, making sure he couldn't possibly chicken out. His hand that once rested on Rimmer's holographic shoulder, went up to cradle his pink cheek.

Rimmer didn't know what to do about this. Oddly, he didn't find it unwelcome, but he somehow hadn't been expecting it. No one kissed him, especially not Lister.

He stiffened at first, frozen in place. When Lister, eyes still squeezed shut, didn't back off, he began to relax into him. His eyes fluttered closed, and, hazily, he melted into Lister's dry, pursed lips.

He could feel Lister’s heart thumping rapidly in his chest. His face was hot against Rimmer’s.

Lister opened his eyes, pulling a mere millimetre back from Rimmer’s lips. Rimmer looked back at him. Lister’s gaze flickered away from Rimmer’s. He stared instead at his left ear, avoiding the embarrassment of eye contact. His cheeks were darkened by a blush. Rimmer felt his faint breath against his face. He looked happy, in a different kind of way that Rimmer was unable to describe. It was ... beautiful.

Beautiful ..... Was Lister _beautiful_?

Since when had he ever thought that? He had never, ever thought that before. He didn’t know why he was thinking that now.

He didn’t really care.

Gently, Rimmer brought his mouth to Lister’s again. Lister crooked his head to the side, parting his lips just slightly.

Rimmer's mouth was _warm_. Not like human-mouth warm. Like, lamp-light-bulb-that's-been-left-on-for-too-many-hours warm. It was unnatural and hot. It was literally made only from light. Hard-light. The stuff that laser swords were made from. Lister was surprised his body wasn’t hotter, come to think of it. Supposedly, there was cooling technology to keep his outside body from being a danger to society. His insides must have taken less safety precautions, not expecting to come in contact with humans as often. Lister found himself sickeningly attracted to the intensity of the heat. Figuring he had nothing to lose, he slid his tongue into Rimmer’s torrid mouth.

Lister flinched when his tongue met Rimmer's. Apparently, he did have a tongue, but it was nothing like Lister's. Appearance and shape-wise, it was exactly like a tongue, but it certainly didn't feel like one. It was hot, too.

He drew away, wide-eyed.

“What? What is it?” Rimmer asked, concerned.

“Your hard-light mouth. It’s so... weird. Your tongue is... weird!” Lister said again, for lack of a better word.

“Weird like how?”

“I dunno, man. Just... different, I guess. I really do wonder how it works, though. ‘s fascinating.”

“Good different or bad different?” the hologram demanded.

“Well, it’s not bad but it’s not...” he trailed off. “’s just different. Never kissed a hologram before.” Lister grinned lazily. “I’d give it another go, though.”

“Really...?”

Lister felt awkward suddenly. Yes, _really_ , he thought, but he said nothing. He still didn't know how to classify his feelings for Rimmer, but he could no longer call it nothing. When it dawned on him that Rimmer was seriously concerned, Lister simply nodded his head.

“Only if you want to, I mean,” he quickly added, blushing awkwardly.

The hologram didn't understand his own feelings, either. He had never even considered Lister as a potential romantic partner before, but now, he found that he was very not opposed to kissing him again.

So very, _very_ not opposed.

He brushed his hand against Lister’s cheek, drawing their mouths together once again.

The kiss took a different turn this time, Lister's tongue disturbing the peace inside Rimmer's mouth.

Rimmer hadn't been entirely sure if his hard-light body had a way for him to experience pleasure from physical contact, as he did not get physical pain, but this confirmed it.

It was such an odd feeling, he didn't know what to make of it. He didn't know if it was supposed to feel this way, or if this was just how it felt for holograms. He had never been kissed like this in his life -- or his death, for that matter.

Lister, though, confirmed that it was indeed supposed to feel this abnormal way. He seemed to be ... really enjoying it. He was intrigued by Rimmer and his strange new hard-light mouth. He must have liked the foreign way that Rimmer's tongue felt on his. With full gusto, Lister frenched Rimmer like he had never frenched anyone before.

The hologram couldn't say he was opposed to Lister's enthusiasm, though. He was even filled with a warmth at the fact that Lister wanted to do this to _him_. Nobody had ever wanted to make out with him before.

He was now over 3,000,000 years old, and he had never actually made out with anyone before, ever. It was sad. A complete and utter tragedy, really. Thank God for Lister, he thought to himself. He had really been missing out on stuff like this. It was amazing.

Rimmer heard a strange whining noise, that he soon realized, much to his shock, was coming from him. The sound was embarrassing... but Lister made no move to tease him for it. Lister’s breathing was uneven, and he made an almost pained groaning sound in response.

Needing to breathe, Lister broke away, panting.

Rimmer stared up in utter amazement as he realized Lister had his leg hooked around him. He had him pinned, basically straddling him. Lister looked just as dazed as Rimmer did. Neither of them had really realized what was happening, but now the implication was there, and the thought was very obviously painted across both of their faces.

Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer....

An unlikely pair for a sexual liaison, to say the very least.

There were two ways to look at the situation:

#1: “Lister ... and Rimmer? _That_ Rimmer?”  
or #2: “Rimmer ... and Lister? _That_ Lister?”

It didn’t matter either way. The two names together in such a context was not something that made a lick of sense.

Rimmer always said that Lister would bonk anything, but he’d never even thought about the fact that he was considered anything. He hadn’t ever wanted ... this. Why was he alright with it now? What was wrong with him? Was he seriously even thinking about this? That wasn’t necessarily the implications of this position ... was it? Rimmer knew nothing of the etiquette for such things.

Lister found himself having a similar dilemma. He stared down at Rimmer. They were both wide-eyed in disbelief.

Lister turned away, having obvious second-thoughts. He chewed on his knuckle thoughtfully, staring out the small window into the vastness of space.

They were in space, all alone... There was really no point in denying themselves of this moment, but if they were going to do it, Lister didn’t want to have sex for sex, he wanted to do it for the person, and he didn’t know where he stood with Rimmer. Did he like him...? Well, he must, in some way at least, if he’d even gotten into this situation in the first place, but... was this really the way to go...?

Oh, what the hell.

There was nothing wrong with a little kissing, right? They didn’t have to go beyond that. No one had even said that. They had thought it, but they hadn’t said it. Not even social convention argued that they had to.

“Smeg it,” said Lister, placing his hand back on Rimmer’s chest. Rimmer could not have agreed more.

Without another moment’s hesitation, Lister and Rimmer locked lips again, touching and kissing, no longer caring. Rimmer moaned breathily as Lister fascinated himself with his tongue.

The light from the daytime simulators was glowing now, just barely lighting up the room to signify morning was upon them.

For a moment, Lister began to worry that he was only doing this for himself, not for Rimmer. He wasn't about that life... He only wanted to do things like this if it was for both of them. And he knew it was, in a way, for Rimmer, but he also worried that, _if_ they did have sex, Rimmer was not in it for him, just for the human contact he longed for.

He decided to take a leap. They were alone in deep space, there was no point really in wasting time being embarrassed about it.

“Rimmer?” he asked as they pulled apart naturally. He was still over top of him, and Rimmer's face said he was enjoying it, albeit his own embarrassment.

“Yeah?”

“Do you--?” Lister cut himself off. It didn't seem right this way. He couldn't just say it like that. “Hm.” he hummed.

“What?”

“Sh-shh.” Lister hushed him, thinking.

Rimmer stared at him in confusion. He didn't open his mouth again, merely waited for Lister to respond. His facial expression alone told Lister that he was impatient.

Lister suddenly regretted having spoken. What did it matter if Rimmer was only in it for the sex...? he thought, but it seemed to matter a ton.

I must be having feelings for him in that case... he thought. Feelings for Rimmer? Smeg. -ging. Hell.

Then again, what did it matter, anyway? He was already making out with him in a less-than-appropriate manner... What did it _matter_ that he had feelings for him? It wasn’t like the situation could get any grosser.

What Lister found gross was that he _wasn't_ finding anything gross about this. And that, deep down, he really wanted to make Rimmer happy. That grossed him out.

 _Rimmer?_  he repeated in his mind. He looked down.

Rimmer stared up at him, impatient. Lister sighed. “Rimmer.... I- aw, smeg...” he cursed. He closed his eyes. “I want to make sure that we're both doin' this for the same reason...”

Rimmer looked puzzled. “What reason would that be?”

“I just wanna know why, why you wanna do this.”

“Why does it matter...? Can't we just... do it.” Rimmer said awkwardly. He was surprised. Lister seemed more like an irresponsible type who just rushed into sexual situations with no rhyme or reason. He supposed it was a different story when he was sober. Or maybe he shouldn't patronize him so much. He wasn't a bad person, really.

“It’s just that... I know we’re both lonely ‘n’ all, but I don’t want either of us to have to ... regret this after.” he explained. “Like, is this... awkward, for you, at all?” he asked.

 _It wasn’t awkward until you opened your crummy mouth, you git._ “No, no, it’s...” he trailed off. “Well, the reason is...” Rimmer stopped again. He thought about it. He thought hard. “I don't know,” he admitted. “I do not know the reason.”

“Well in that case...” Lister said, smiling despite himself. “Your guess is as good as mine, I mean, I'ven't got a clue. I want to though. Do this with you, that is. I feel like it’s... an okay thing to do,” he rambled. “I mean... kissin’ you. We don’t have to, like...” Lister trailed off.

Lister’s awkward speech was total smeg, but he was reasonably un-wrong. This whole situation was so bizarre, yet somehow it still felt ... right, in a way.

Their eyes met, and the two laughed awkwardly, before Lister apparently decided he was satisfied with that. He didn’t finish his train of thought. He lowered himself back to Rimmer’s chest and kissed him on the chin.

On the other hand, the conversation had left Rimmer feeling a little confused. He didn’t feel guilty, or uncomfortable anymore, but he couldn’t help but wonder .... Why _was_ he doing this? _I must have feelings for Lister_ , he thought glumly.

Maybe that wasn't so bad... but... did Lister even like him?

Rimmer stopped doubting that, though, just moments later, as Lister touched him. Lister ran his curious hands up his shirt, transfixed. Lister was reassuring and abnormally gentle. Rimmer hadn't expected this from him. Rimmer must have meant something to Lister. He could tell by the way he handled him. It was calming; it made him feel secure. All his doubts about Lister’s feelings -- and his own, disappeared into thin air.

He smiled up at him gladly, hoping his expression and body language alone could convey how he felt without the complications of words.

Lister understood. A languid gentleness befell upon his manner. He clutched the hem of Rimmer’s shirt, lifting it with his right hand, and tapped it with his left index finger. He remained wordless, looking to Rimmer in question. Rimmer knew what he was asking.

He nodded slowly, embarrassed. Lister backed off, letting Rimmer to sit up and remove his shirt on his own. Rimmer didn’t have a reason to be embarrassed about Lister seeing him shirtless, but somehow, he was incredibly so. It was the circumstances that defined it. Lister staring mesmerized at his bare chest as he lied back down made him rightfully abashed.

However, Lister seemed to have no inappropriate intentions. The mood was totally different suddenly. Lister was simply fascinated by the amazing technology that was Rimmer’s physical form. He never really thought about the fact that he now existed three million years in the future from the time his generation had been alive. Thinking of all the technological advances that must have been made by now sent his head spinning. He could not even begin to fathom just how long three million years was. Apparently, hard-light holograms were something that had been invented, and perfected, quite long ago, too, and weren’t something that was hard to come by at all.

He ran an inquisitive finger along the outline of each of Rimmer’s ribs, visible due to his scrawny physique. The hologram was an exact replica of what Rimmer’s living body had once been.

Rimmer relaxed into the bed, sighing, as Lister stroked his skin. The gentle touches sucked all the tension from him. Lister's hands roamed the surface of Rimmer's body, rubbing and groping curiously. He had a look of sheer fascination on his face, as though he learned something new with every pinch of Rimmer's 4D projected body. He was very concentrated on his exploration.

Rimmer didn’t blame him. His new physical form really was amazing. He had never been more thankful for anything in his entire death.

Lister's hands made their way up Rimmer's shoulders, to his neck, to his face. He cradled Rimmer's face, left hand resting delicately on his jawline, and drew in for a sweet kiss.

The kiss was the slowest, most saccharine, lovers' kiss to ever happen in all of deep space. It was far from perfect, but for them, it was beyond compare. Despite not needing to breathe, the sweetness of kiss was enough to make Rimmer's head spin. Lister took a lot of pride in making the Ioian dishevelled.

“So, I'm a good kisser, then?” he teased as Rimmer panted.

“Shut up, gimboid.” Rimmer refuted. “And don't open your stupid mouth again unless it's against mine.”

Lister raised an eyebrow, impressed. Rimmer was insulting him in his regular, condescending tone, but he was _flirting_. Lister didn't know Rimmer did that. There was a hint of a smile in his voice. Lister could get used to this.

“Whatever you say, cap'n,” he grinned, kissing him again. Rimmer's lips spread into a smile against his face.

They kissed lazily, Lister caressing Rimmer absentmindedly. Rimmer wrapped his arms around his neck.

Rimmer had fantasized countless times about sex, and about kissing, but he had never really considered just enjoying someone’s company like this. For whatever reason, it was just a thing that he never, ever thought about. It was so ... casual. Rimmer’s warped idea of relationships didn’t involve things like canoodling. He had never really thought about what love really was. He had no experience with it. He had lusted after people before, but he didn’t even think about what it would like to really experience love.

Love didn’t have to be romantic, or sexual. It was just caring for someone. He didn’t know what kind of relationship the two of them had, but he knew there was one absolute: Lister cared about him. He came to realize that he cared about Lister, too.

Lister rolled to his side, sliding his hand underneath of Rimmer. “Swap with me, m’ back hurts.”

Rimmer blinked, letting Lister roll beneath him. He had one knee on either side of him. Lister yawned, stretching his arms and cracking his back before replacing his hands on Rimmer’s hips. Rimmer gazed down at him, contemplating.

“What’s with that face?” Lister asked eventually, amused.

“Uh, it’s nothing,” Rimmer said, snapping out of it. He tapped his fingers anxiously against Lister’s chest.

“You’re tense.” Lister squeezed his sides. “Talk to me.”

Since they were going to be (nearly) alone together in space for a long time, they had both silently decided that there was no reason for unnecessary communication issues between them.

“Well...” he started. “It’s nothing really, just...”

“Nervous?” guessed Lister. Rimmer wouldn’t have exactly described it as nervous, but Lister wasn’t wrong. He nodded.

Lister knew of Rimmer’s inexperience with everything to do with relationships. He wasn’t exactly an expert or anything, but he was certainly and undeniably charming. Compared to Rimmer, Lister was something of a sex god. Then again, so was basically everybody.

“Not often you find yourself on top of a bloke as good-looking as me, eh?” Lister teased.

Rimmer scowled.

Lister quickly apologized. He didn’t sound at all sincere. He rubbed Rimmer’s back gently. “Don’t think of it as weird, then... ‘s not any different from before ... Just kiss me.”

They both blushed at that, not used to hearing those words out loud. Lister’s kind tone made Rimmer feel a bit better, but also made him feel awkward. Rimmer was ... the girl of the situation. He knew that was a bad thing to say; they were both men, neither of them had to be branded “the girl”, but that was how he felt. Lister was treating him the way he treated everyone else he had done things like this with, women.

That wasn’t so bad, though, once he thought about it. Lister was treating him like a lover. He didn’t talk sweet to him or try to calm him down because he felt above him; it meant he had respect for him. But he, being Rimmer, still felt somewhat of a need to prove himself as a man.

It wasn’t until he leaned in to press his lips to Lister’s that he started to feel the power of the position he was in. Obviously, only having made love to two women in his entire existence, he wasn’t as versed in this stuff as Lister was. With Lister below him, he felt important. He still wasn’t entirely in charge, per se, but he was important. He was on top. Literally.

He was powerful, he was significant, he was ... making Lister feel the way he had felt earlier when he himself had reigned bottom. He liked that thought. He'd keep that in mind for if they ever did have sex.

He felt giddy as he pulled away, lying on top of Lister, who smiled back at him. For them, this was a bizarre way to spend a morning, but neither of them cared at the moment. The physical contact felt good. The emotions felt good. It was new to Rimmer, all of it. Nobody had ever truly liked him, when he really thought about it.

No matter how far back he went, in all his years of existence, he could not think of a single person who had even remotely cared for him.

But now, there was Lister.

This single moment, here with Lister, outweighed his years of loneliness, of pain. Lister couldn’t take away his past, but right now, nothing else existed. His pain had dissipated. Dissolved in Lister's soft embrace. 

Maybe it was only for the moment, but Lister made him feel like he was finally away from it all. He made him feel real. Lister didn’t care about his past, or anything that he had done wrong. Lister was the first person Rimmer had ever known who cared about him as a person. It made him feel so young and so alive again. A feeling that was incomparable to anything. Nothing in the whole damned universe was more real than what Rimmer was feeling right then.

It felt good to feel. Not only did he have a body for the first time in years, and was having new sensations physically, but he was experiencing sentiments that he had never before even thought of. A new feeling. One that he never even new existed.

Lister was feeling a new feeling, too. A mutual tenderness between he and Rimmer was not something that had ever happened before. It was shiny new, and it was lovely.

They held on tight to each other, refusing to let go of that feeling. It felt too good to feel to ever let go. Rimmer would hold on forever if he could. So would Lister.

He loved Rimmer. He knew that to be true. He wasn’t ready to tell him just yet, but it was true. Rimmer was likely just as unready to hear it as Lister was to say it. But that was alright. He was pretty sure that the hologram knew, anyway.

Basking in the artificial morning light, the pair snuggled all through to mid-afternoon, caring not of anything else in the world.


End file.
